At some point in mid-life, we find ourselves “questioning…”
It often starts with a quiet inner voice that asks, “What have I achieved? What am I still capable of becoming?” As time passes, that whisper becomes a bit louder, and we no longer wonder whether or not we had that thought; we now clearly hear it. That voice inside our head intrudes on our ability to stay focused and asks, “What’s left?” Ultimately, and as even more days, weeks, or months come and go, we now nervously ask ourselves, “Is there anything more??”
Rudely aroused from our slumber, and with the clock ticking, we now consciously contemplate the next chapter in our lives. That once quiet voice has become a loud roar; it shakes us to our core, and we shudder, realizing that the time has come to either take action and heed the roar, or do whatever is necessary to silence the voice, thus continuing to exist – but not truly live! – as an inner part of us dies more each day.
Now I have a question for you: What’s your story … so far?
If you relate all too well to the scenario described above, then I invite you to join five other men, as we explore, discover, and take action to bring needed change to our lives. We have the opportunity to answer the call, “What’s missing in my life?” And if we fail to respond…
The roar grows louder.
“Our abandoned, unrealized, or underdeveloped talents, when they are not fully integrated into our lives, can become profoundly troublesome in mid-life, leading us to depression, suddenly hating our spouses, our jobs, or even our lives. When our unlived lives are brought to consciousness, however, they can become the fuel that can propel us beyond our limitations even if our outer circumstances cannot always be visibly altered.”
– From the book jacket “Living Your Unlived Life: Coping With Unrealized Dreams And Fulfilling Your purpose In The Second Half Of Life.” – Robert A. Johnson & Jerry M. Ruhl, Ph.D.
We all go off to the wars each day: at work, while juggling the household chores and children’s demands, when confronting the unending oppositions that tie life up in knots. We keenly sense that we have become disconnected from something essential. Perhaps our relationship has lost some of its magical power. Maybe we feel like time is running out. In childhood, we all have heroes whom we worshipped because they carried within them some of our as yet unlived capacities. The possibilities remain, and these are the potentials that are ripe and ready for development.
The solution is to explore, discover, experiment, benchmark, and set new goals in a safe and supportive container: Heroes: A Men’s Coaching Group. Heroes is a place where you can come to discover the “Next Chapter in Your Life.”
Who are the men who sign on to this journey? Here are some examples:
You work at a job that’s paying the bills but killing you slowly.
You are in an unsatisfying relationship: you have feared to leave or to stay in that relationship because you’re concerned about isolating yourself even more.
You may have neglected your health and think it’s too late to change, but know you must do something before it’s too late.
What does it mean to be sent home? Furloughed? Forced to take early retirement? Pushed out?
When what you think you really need, or what you believe truly defines you, has been taken away, what does that mean? Who are you now? Who were you ever?
The “Heroes” process is about both your childhood and the next chapter in your life.
Over the past decade as a practicing psychotherapist, I have witnessed an alarming decline in my male clients’ sense of self. Many question who they are now. Some feel cheated. Some silently wonder about their purpose at this stage in their lives. And some frequently ask themselves, “Is there a life beyond the decades of striving and attainment?” whether it pertains to their careers, marriage, health, raising kids, communal involvement, etc. The answers are often even more elusive than the question.
Very often, ego-identity is inextricably linked to status at work, at home, in the social milieu, or in extended families. Untangling such a large, interconnected series of knots can be daunting, so men often maintain the status quo, continuing to tread water.
What happens, however, when all that stops, or keeps going but may need to stop? What’s left?
What do men do? Left with no identifiable purpose, a loss of social identity, and no support from other men, where can all of this possibly lead?
Men typically go through the motions, and to all outward appearances, are highly successful. We are made up of entrepreneurs, executives, breadwinners, bootstrappers, community icons, small business owners, alpha males – and, sadly, some are the loneliest men in the world. A diminishing sense of self, punctuated with the drudgery of going to an energy-sucking job, postpones the inevitable. Still, we hang in there, toughing it out and manning up, because what other choices exist? After all, that’s what “real men” do, isn’t it? We ride it out, killing time until the day arrives when this series of indecisive moments erupt into a crisis.
IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE THIS WAY!
Join Heroes and Begin the Journey
I’ve been there and I know what it’s like: high profile, manager, executive, responsible for a high functioning team, quarterly metrics, vulnerable to market whims and board/shareholders…bosses, customers, vendors, team members, direct reports – welcome to the modern workplace! Whether you are looking for a personal or career transition, hanging in there until retirement, transfer, or promotion, or simply looking to maintain your health and vigor in challenging situations, hypnotherapy coupled with NLP is a powerful and transformative tool for changing self-defeating behaviors and setting and achieving goals. It starts with you, and it can start today. I am passionate about helping my fellow male travelers grow and change, and I look forward to hearing from you.
For an overview of Heroes: A Men’s Coaching Group, click here.
The Calendar of Events has the latest information about meeting times.
– Ed Bostick, MPA, NLP, CCHT